This autoethnographic inquiry traces my experience of confronting maternal transference and grief through an encounter with a peer on my counsellor training programme. I explore my (dis)embodied experience of accessing my grief from maternal abuse and estrangement which surfaced years later when I came into contact with Natasha, who reminded me of my mother and instantly reactivated my trauma responses. I comment on cultural norms specific to motherhood, womanhood and the insidious competitiveness in female friendships in the Indian context that have followed me to the U.K. I trudge through this marsh in real time, documenting my anguish and fear as I experience it, contrary to what is typically expected of autoethnographic work where we are encouraged to practise vulnerability and self-preservation. This piece is a performance of my hesitations and grief, an advent of closure that I come closer to as I continue to write and immerse myself in my agony, abandonment and the guilt that accompanies the process. I write into fractured timelines, geographies and fears, swerving ‘In’ and ‘Out’ of my mind and body as I record my trauma emerge, sweep and sway/release me.

Bereavement is a universal human experience which shapes individual lives and society at large, with the potential to cause sadness, anxiety and long-lasting trauma if appropriate support is not available when needed.

It is known that 1 in 29 children under the age of 16 is bereaved of a parent – one every 22 minutes in the UK, one in every class in primary and secondary school. These ‘decisive moments’ of death are sometimes anticipated (with a parent’s terminal diagnosis for example), and sometimes unexpected and sudden, but never easy for the child. In addition, traumatic incidents such as the Grenfell Tower fire (2017) and the murder of three children in Southport (2024) ripple dramatically through school communities over many years. Schools can provide a safe space for supporting a grieving child, but this requires appropriate training and resources, a consistent bereavement policy, and sensitive support by adults across the school community and beyond.

This short paper explores some of the research literature, policy perspectives and good practice from schools on bereavement, aligned with the APS 2025 conference theme of Hope and Despair: Crisis and Opportunity. The case study research of bereavement awareness training with all primary and secondary trainee teachers at St Mary’s University will illustrate further the potential impact of an intentional focus on preparing adults who work with children to navigate times of loss and grief.

An unswerving commitment to supporting bereaved children through death, grief and trauma in their educational setting is an investment in longer-term public health and wellbeing. No child should feel invisible in their grief, at any stage or in any context, and collaboration with education professionals is an essential part of the process.

Given the current crises in the world right now, it is important to create space for our collective grief, trauma, and maybe, hope. It’s even more crucial to look at these emotions and concepts from a decolonized lens, creating empathetic approach especially for the oppressed communities in the Global South (majority world). In this paper/presentation, I would focus on the significance of decolonization and then further look at these concepts through that lens, based on my reflections of working on the ground in conflict-regions like Kashmir, Myanmar and across the Global South. I will share insights, challenges, learnings and recommendations from my 14 years of practice; and how we as a field need to bridge gap between research and praxis. There’s much to unlearn and do justice to what’s happening in many parts of the world; whose voice is not counted in major policy spaces